Brutality of Love

desire.. doubt.. despair and destruction

First of all, it's about desire.. desire to have someone by your side, someone who's ready to hold you whenever you need it. You neither care about the situation nor condition. You just wanna have him or her. Having she/he is your greatest desire..

And poorly.. the desire grows together with doubt. You start questioning. Is it right? Is this what i want? Will it be nice? Will it be true? Will it be like my imagination? And those signs just keep coming by. You just ignored some of them.. But they continually knocking at your door. The desire grew inside your heart and so did the doubt.

Time went by and you just can't blind yourself more and more. Sooner or later the signs become clearer and you fall into something called despair, though you still have a great desire..

And in the end.. The complexity of desire and despair mixed together and transform to something called appetite for destruction. If i can't have something that i want, then nobody will. And you start playing with your mind. Creating the most perfect scenario. "What if? How if?" Your mind plays tricks..

All of the energy that you have.. should be converted into something.. The destruction itself or sense to create anything you can, including writing almost 90 blog posts in just a couple of month. And the story started from the day you met someone that you used to call "love".. until you.. yourself don't know when to stop.. coz' the memories still remain.. and you still can write it down.. anything that came up your mind, even every single smile, laugh and tears..

This is called the brutality of love.. sense to destruct.. sense to build.. sense to create.. The most powerful drive..

It's good to be in love, though it hurts so bad not to be loved.. But this pain did drive me to do anything i've never imagined before.. destructing and creating..

i wanna move on.. i wish..