Same Old Song

While life changes so fast, the playlist hasn't been changed yet.. hehe..
And here i am alone again, play the same old songs, while life felt so cold and cruel. My life theme at the time, when it's just chasing your shadow.. only chasing your shadow, try to hear the echo of your voice.. maybe i can still hear it on the air.. and pretending that i still could smell you everywhere i go.. 

My mind plays tricks on me.. but maybe the fact is i was manipulating my mind, just to convince myself that you're still there..

the best part of falling in love is you can be so creative while you fall and the heart feels like "bleeding".. 

Set The Fire

Some people in this world know what persistent is
Some people can't differ persistent and obsession
Some people can't differ chasing the justice or beginning to take revenge

If what comes around goes around, then..
Everyone who sets the fire, will be burnt by their own fire

It is called choices 
whether you pour some rain inside your heart
or you add much gasoline to make the fire bigger
it will chase either anyone whom you put in the circle, or others too
and whether you realize it or not.. you are the one who stand closest to the fire.. and burnt first
before the fire starts burning anyone.. anyone else

...dan Kemudian Sepi

Guruh.. gemuruh.. ingar bingar.. lampu sorot, dan tepuk tangan
Masalah.. duka.. air mata.. kemudian hampa
Hidup.. cinta.. luka.. bahagia.. berdua dan kemudian..
Mati..............

Tertawa bahagia, gegap gempita hari ini
Kemudian kau tertidur, bermimpi dan terbangun di pagi yang sepi
Bahkan teman tidurmu pun belum lagi usai dengan mimpinya sendiri
Meniti jam yang berputar, mendengar jam dengan detiknya yang berdetak
Berfikir di awal hari, bahwa apapun yang terjadi hari ini pasti akan usai
Dan nafas pun akan terhenti.. di ujung hidup yang tak pasti 
Akrabi sepi, karena ia yang selalu menemani... 

Way to Come Back

If it's true.. You will always find the way to come back
How to forgive
How to understand
Cause it's something bigger than you.. Bigger than your ego
Though listening isn't as easy as what it has been said
That's why God has created one mouth and two ears
So you can listen more and understand more
You won't understand while you're busy talking or shouting
And though God has created less mouth than ears
The mouth won't stop.. sometimes
And it's getting worse
And you'll understand nothing..

*Peace, Listen & Respect 

Regret

It's nice being loved 

Knowing that someone would do anything just to pleased you

Then you begin you think, that anything you do will be forgiven, cause he/she is so in love with you

Then.. BOOM!

The glass is broken, and all you can do is picking up the pieces of the broken glasses

All remain is regret

You might have love, but you're not the owner of the world

And once again, the gravity pushes on  everyone

One day you're up in heaven, the other day you just hit the ground

Nothing last forever, except forever itself

when head and heart and time meet at the same place
so pleased to come back!

and there's nothing called forever even in l.o.v.e.

sometimes you're in, sometimes you're out

but if this is love, you'll always find way to come back
and at that time, saying "i'm still loving you.. can we stay?"

Loving The Shadow

Pagi.. dini hari..
Waktu yang amat bersahabat dengan sepi. Di tepian kesadaran yang hampir hilang. Dan ingatan akan satu-satu yang sudah pergi, datang. 
Waktu yang sama, saat kerap kali perih mendera, dan yang hanya bisa dilakukan adalah berteriak dalam hampa. Tak ada yang nyata, tak ada yang bisa digenggam. Tak ada siapa-siapa. Dan momen itu kembali di tepi sepi dini hari.

walking alone in the dark
crying for your shadow
begging for what has been seen, read, and heard
broken promises, broken wings
broken me.. spinning world.. insanity
can i talk to the ghost of you?
why seeing is not believing?
why it doesn't feel the same?
i'm still searching for the ghost of you

What MakesThings Worse

It's always the same pattern..
What makes things worse, is how we deal with shits
And if we don't get up, stand up. Things will keep going worse and worse, and unfortunately there's no one or nothing to blame.. cause shits happen no more. you're just the one who add those shits to your life..
Congratulation.
So whether you get up and stand up? or drowning in your own shit.. :)

Good Luck.. Good Life.

Back to Zero

Almost 5 years ago, i was nearly "bleeding" in the effort to make some money for living.
And these days, i'm back to zero point, and almost feel the same "blood" comes out from me. Here i am.. at 0.. at none.. at the point of new beginning to become a jobless or die trying.. haha.. sounds so 50 cent huh? Get rich or die trying. 


I hope it's worth for what is worth.. 
And someday I can look back at this point with no regret..


*when you face it by yourself. no one will feel just ok :) 

No Surprises

The things that make the wound worse is cause you hope things will be different. When you can predict the result. When the shits happen, then.. it's not actually a surprise after all.. 
It's better to have a good preparation before anything worse happened. When shits still happen, then it's just destiny. Who actually can run from it? 


It's good to come back writing.. :) 

Understanding

Ignorance is the best way to escape. But the painful truth is when you start to ignore someone whom you should care, at some point they won't hear you. They know what you feel. But what you feel is not included in one of the important thing to be considered. So when it comes to "face to face" conversation, then the brain take its place. Take control of heart. You know that somehow you have to paid for the ignorance. If you seldom enough to feel what people feel, then your feeling also mean nothing. So let's talk with the brain, let the heart fade away. I know that you scream I know that your feeling mixed with one and another But it's just not in my consideration It's not the main focus I'm sorry.. But you also have to learn how to hear How not to ignore This is the hard way to learn.. I say it in peace

Counting Down..

Days are flying..
 So this is me counting down days.
This is me getting busy preparing this and that.
I thought these days won't come, or won't come very soon.
And the day is coming.
It still on its way. But, the calendar, the clock, make me sure that it become nearer and nearer.
Sometimes i'm calmed enough.
Sometimes i get panic.
Many times i enjoy these things.
I  never thought it will be this way.
But i didn't write the book of life. I'm just a traveler in one of time and space.
Til now, i'm sure this is all miracle.
 I'm still counting.
I'm still walking.
I'm still thinking that if it's the right time and the right way, no one can't stop.
It's been written.
Years ago...

How come?

How come you fall for someone whom you have never met before?
And at the same time questioning someone who "knock" at my door and ask me to go on?

Love? Is blind.. Is careless.. Is dangerous enough!

A while ago, you screamed, "Love is bullshit!"

World keep spinning.. Life changes..

This is Called Charlie Brown!

I stole a key,
Took a car downtown where the lost boys meet,
I took a car downtown and took what they offered me.
To set me free,
I saw the lights go down at the end of the scene,
I saw the lights go down and they're standing in front of me.

In my scarecrow dream,
When they smashed my heart into smithereens,
Be a bright red rose come bursting the concrete.
Be a cartoon heart,
Light a fire, light a spark,
Light a fire, a flame in my heart.
We'll run wild,
We'll be glowing in the dark.

All the boys, all the girls,
All that matters in the world
All the boys, all the girls,
All the madness that occurs.

All the highs, all the lows,
As the room is spinning, oh
We'll run wild,
We'll be glowing in the dark.

So we'll run wild,
We'll be glowing in the dark.

From The Mylo Xyloto

Aging

You can date anyone you want, but when it comes to marriage then the judge is not just you. You're the actor or the actress, but still you can't make it on your own.

Some says, marriage is no kind of one night stand, or a days and weeks relationship. It's a long and winding road. And we make hard thing become harder..

And once again the rain falls hard..

Where do we go?

We're just a two gambler who bet in a table called life?
Or we're just hoping for a miracle to happen, cause we believe that even in the most perfect choice, there's always at least a risk, or anything that we think impossible may happen..

So? Where do we go from here?