I used to get mad easily when i don't like something.. i wouldn't stop arguing and i would say anything, to cause terrible heartache.. i don't know what love is.. and may be until these days, i still don't understand what that thing really is.. all i can do is controlling myself.. so i don't hurt someone that i care more and more.. though i still feel that he hurt me more and more.. and no trust in his words.. i would hit the wall, i would "bang" the door, or i would hurt myself.. when i feel you're hurting me..
But today i choose to breathe.. i will always take a breath.. though i feel that pain in my chest, and it's harder and harder for me to breathe.. and i will think few seconds, minutes, or hours..before throwing any words from my mouth.. though it's hard.. i will think.. what are we fighting for? what really the things we're arguing? is it something that happen that day? or is it something bigger? something that came from the beginning.. something, which is fundamental or "the core "that caused all of our problems..
when it's true.. i think there's no used for us to argue on those little things.. we have to review.. everything.. from the beginning.. before decide what's best for us and others..
I love you.. I wanna love myself.. but still.. i can not exchange Him with you.. though i love you so...
-some times between 2006-2007-
